Wednesday, August 15, 2001
I payed a lot of attention to daddy this evening (finally). There was a good reason for this: he banged his head against the wall and started yelling because of the pain! It was so funny to see him totally behave like an insane monkey! (screaming, scratching his head) Then I started laughing. The point is: it seems like daddy only gets my attention when he least wants it...
Monday, August 13, 2001
Today was my first day with my pseudo-mom. I slept most of the time, so to my humble opinion mom and dad don't have to pay for this. There are other children overthere. Children not being me. I'm not alone. Hostile activity all around me. They are noisy, almost as noisy as me. But I'm a survivor, so I slept all day to escape from those horrible creatures.
There was a girl at that place too. Her name is Annelies. She wants me. I saw that because she let me play with her doll. For several reasons, this is not gonna work:
- First of all, she's much too old (she's about 10 times older than me, I didn't know somebody could get that old anyway).
- Secondly, this is the first girl I meet that is not family. I'm not crazy. I'm not going to marry the first girl I meet. There are plenty of girls out there in the Big World that would like to meet me. And then it's too late, I will be stuck with Annelies.
- The third reason is obvious. She'll have to go to school in september. Althoug I'm very handsome and adorable, she won't see me again later. Because she can't write, she won't be able to send me letters. This can only be a holiday love, and her heart would be broken afterwords, because this incredible lovely little cuty would be out of her life.
But I like the doll.
Sunday, August 12, 2001
Here's a little word to my sponsor: I'd like to thank mom for carrying me around a couple of months in her container: it was cosy in there, nice and warm, and rather trouble free. Rating: 4 stars.
I'd like to thank her for letting me out as well, because I don't know what would have happened to me when I had to stay in there for the rest of my life. I guess there wouldn't have been enough room for me, my Nijntje's house, my comforter(s), my tigger, daddy and my bed.
I also want to thank her for feeding me every day. Hunger is perhaps the hardest pain one must bear. I had to wait once for about 7 full minutes! I have no clue what happens if you skip food too much, but I believe you die eventually, because of the crying.
I want to thank her for washing me every day: water feels like the stuff I used to swim in when I was young and unborn. As an adult I will spent my life in the water all day.
Also, thumbs up for the way she hugs me: of course, there's no such thing as getting enough hugs, but she comes close. I'm not sure about this one, but I think in the future I'll be able to hug myself (when I can control my arms) so she won't be needed any more.
Other good things about mom? She's patient, complementary to me being impatient by design. This is because I'm not equipped yet with the idea of "within a minute", "tomorrow" and "yesterday". I believe this will be the case a month from now.
You surely wonder why I'm suddenly that kind to her. The reason is fear. Tomorrow there's a big step in mankind: I will leave the domestic atmospheres and enter the unknown (thus hostile) atmospheres of another world. During the day, mom is going to have her job back, and dad continues his, euh, computer typing, so I will be at some foreign place then. I'll miss mom's attention of course, and I'll have to share the attention of a stranger with God-knows-who.
The most beautiful house I ever saw in my entire life is Nijntje's house, featuring flashy colors and a lot of things to discover (for now, the parents trigger all events, in the near future, I'm planning to do some of the work myself, when I have more control over my hands). When I see it, nothing else matters any more. Most of the objects in the house make some noise. So Nijntje is cool again because he owes this amazing house. The lesson for today is: "It's not what you are that matters, it's what you have. And the noise it makes.". (Look at Nijntje: first I don't care about the orange guy any more, now he's my best friend)